Father

Happy birthday Dad. 🙂

 

I know that I may not seem like I care.

 

I roll my eyes and scoff at your words

 

like theyre nothing compared to my bullet proof glass

 

But im just a stupid teenager

 

A teenager who wishes she could do better but its hard.

 

You push me to do better

 

Because you dont look at me through my eyes

 

You see me as your pride and joy

 

I want to live up to these expectations.

 

You’re just and kind

 

Despite that constant aggravation

 

We share the same humor and interests

 

And I enjoy watching Mel Brooks movies and laughing.

 

Despite my tone of voice,

 

Despite my eyes and my attitude,

 

We are blood,

 
And I’m forever grateful that we are.

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Mother

Happy Birthday Momma.

 

She walks with her head high

 

No sign of distress or anger

 

And her voice is a blanket

 

Warm and comforting even on the stormiest of nights

 

And even though I’m reaching the end of her head

 

Looking down upon her when we talk

 

I will always look up to her

 

As someone I admire.

 

She is organized,

 

Social,

 

And funny.

 

Most things that I am not,

 

And that fine.

 

Maybe one day,

 

When im older and wiser,

 

I’ll be organized,

 

Social,

 

And funny.

 

Today is not that day though,

 

So I am content with just watching her

 

 

And learning from her idiosyncrasies.

Merman

I can never seem to get to the lighthouse.

 

No matter how hard I try, the ocean sucks me back in,

 

Like I am some toy it can play with.

 

Tide toss and turn me;

 

I can only hope that it swallows up my being.

 

Yet, you stuck out your hand,

 

Pulling me so close I can hear your heart,

 

The symphony of being alive playing.

 

You told me that the ocean can be conquered,

 

That I knew how to swim,

 

I just merely forgot.

 

But, you concluded, taking my hand,

 

If you are struggling,

 

I will help you.

 

For the lighthouse is there,

 

It’s just hard to see sometimes.

Planetarium

You’re an entirely new solar system.

 

Comet eyes and a galaxy heart,

 

And a mind entirely full of nebulae.

 

I can hear the stars in your voice,

 

See the black holes in your tears,

 

And bathe in the moon in your skin.

 

Yet, like the planets,

 

You are far away.

 

So I will just stand here,

 

Looking through Cupid’s telescope,

 

And hope that you see me too.

Lucky

You always seem so lucky

You and your personality

Your looks and your charisma

Seem to always pull the crowd in

You’re a siren luring sailors to you

And your eyes are the coldest of blue

But I guess that’s why you think im the lucky one

Because while I draw close you push away

But I guess that’s the problem here

You’re living in your worst fear

Of insecurity

So I guess that makes me

Pretty lucky.

ABC Alliteration of Us

As I stare at this arrogant array

Of boisterous bottles

I can’t help but compulsively comfort

A dismount of disappointed feelings

That made an erasable error

 

Things never seem to fall freely on me

Oh, I hope for good gospel

Because heartlessly I hear

The sound of iridescent idiosyncrasies

That belong to a jarring jury,

Watching my kaleidoscopic kills

Of the largely lamented

As I mistakenly miss you

 

Yet, I’ve never needed nicotine

To drown our obvious obituary,

Or poignant poisons

To eradicate the queer quality

Of the resilient relationship

We tried to sustain sufficiently.

 

I’ve always had trials and tribulations

That undermine my unnatural personality,

And violent acts of vulgar dishonesty

That i watch with wary woes,

But I always drown with xerothermic xylol

hopelessly, I try to burn up the yearning youth

That always seems to zealously zag inside me

All because of you.

 

Crossed out Thoughts

Whatever happened to us

                                            me

                                            you

Once the skies were gray

                                       purple

                                         blue

Now its just two chairs

                                minds

                                hearts

No idea where to breathe

                                  cope

                                 start

Adulthood

Golden-Wine.jpg

I remember my mother

would press a kiss atop my head

to signal the authors in my mind

to come alive and make me dream

she would always leave

a light on for me

that seemingly

only fairies could make

and I felt content

but now the kisses

surrendered to bruises

authors retired to illustrators

that only painted in red

and that fairy light

turned to Midas’ color of regret

and the reflection of realization.

Miscellaneous Remembrance

dandelion

Remember the dandelion kisses

we blew when we were young

and the nursery rhymes we always read

and sung

The roses always pricked us

but we played with them anyway,

for blood was easy to replace

but the memories would fade to gray

 

the puddles aways splashed in our faces

and the thunder lulled us to sleep

for the stories our mothers told us

brought dreams we would forever keep

in our pockets

 

the miscellaneous times

were always a favorite of mine

the idiosyncrasies

that i keep within my mind

i can see though

you don’t think of these things

i just wish you thought

that i was worth remembering.

 

Little Boy

Image133

Little Boy

I don’t know how to feel Little Boy

How it feels to have your hands up in defeat

I don’t know how to see, Little Boy

To see through Your eyes

The bombed concrete

and the corpses upon corpses you’ve walked by

I don’t know how to feel, Little Boy

to hear the gunshots and screams

of children women and men

I don’t know how it smells Little Boy

the smell of death and ashes making

grey snow upon the ground

I don’t know how it tastes Little Boy

the taste of bread and soup

or nothing at all

or the taste of blood as they beat you,

making you feel so small

I don’t know you, Little Boy

I wasn’t in your place

as you saw the massacre of the Jewish race

I can’t say I know how you feel

But I’ll always remember that

It

Was

Real

so I raise my glass to you, Little Boy

who just looks so lost

and to the children who lost their lives

in the Holocaust.